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Friday, May 30, 2008
d
Whatever it is..
ur lil gesture just made my day.
=)
jamming at Friday, May 30, 2008
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
d
woodlands back to sk.
one granny stopped the bus by walking in the middle of the road.
she took the bus.
approached me.
she said she's afraid that the bus driver dun get wad she mean
thus she asked me for the direction instead.
cos she said me n her are cantonese speaking.
I DUN EVEN NOE HOW SHE DETERMINES WHETHER IM CANTONESE SPEAKING OR NOT.
HAHAHAHAHA !!
ironically throughout the whole journey she didnt speak to me in cantonese.
-.- !!
she thx me n said im a kind person repeatedly for umpteen times.
=)
- can anyone tell me wad's going on ? -
jamming at Thursday, May 29, 2008
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
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ignorance is bliss. is that so?
technology has been so convenient that by just a click one can check everything out.
chanced upon certain things.
r U 100% sure abt the character?
i hope U can slap urself for writing that.
i dun even understand why i would even shed tears for u.
kinda dubious abt ur character once again.
whoohoo trying to be oblivious ?
I EXIST and this is the fact.
now, SLAP myself hard .
i dun deny i will still get emo.
but for whoever's sake im gonna stand up.
appreciate frens who support me.
i can pretend too. =)
i can be oblivious too. =)
so wad's the point ultimately?
need not go to the extent.
i aint no fool.
just that the reality is damn harsh n i need some time to stay clear minded.
i really love this phrase.. "Dun Pretend You Know My Story" by Steff..
character can be similar but not thinking. U taught me this.
'No air' by jordin sparks & chris brown came to my mind. Mmm..
jamming at Tuesday, May 27, 2008
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Friday, May 23, 2008
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yesterday..
went to cck with jk to do work. cher came aft that.
cher asked me out of mac for a talk.
she is really a sweet person.
cos in sch she asked me alr.
but i cant bring myself to talk abt the matter yet.
was given some advices n gonna try it out.
clarify beats emo-ing alone at a corner.
yup. i noe.
my emo thing is really getting into me.
affected me to work, to think..
i dun like it either.
but i believe when mon comes, i will be alright..
stay over at cher's place.
cant really slp though i was tired.
watched some shows trying to make myself laugh.
met jazz at 11am .. but was late.. sorry..
went to library n finished at 7pm plus..
while doing work, out of sudden jazz said that this song suits me n __
title is " wo yi zhi dou zai " (meaning - i am still here)
check out the lyric.. is really nice..
yvonne joined us for dinner at jurong.
jazz..out of sudden asked me dun smoke.. -.- !!
took train back to sengkang..
with blurred vision?
songs can really explain all. the lyric or title or melody just suit my mood..
weekends coming again..
mon approaching soon..
dun feel like going to sch on mon..
but must hand in proj.. cant leave jazz in lurch..
mon approaching soon..
dun feel like going to sch on mon..
but must hand in proj.. cant leave jazz in lurch..
***
i noe i suck !
i didnt noe i can really really pissed ppl off..
"just let go"
sounds easy?
under tremedous pressure.. u notice?
definitely no ..
i dun even understand why u sound so mean n hostile.
i rather u r the one who sees me emo-ing than anyone else who noticed it..
i was still hoping for the best when cher talked to me..
when the whole world thinks that u r this n that, i still chose to believe that u r just u..
do u really mind wad others really think of u/us?
i noe i cant be ur option.. nv can be..
but the least i wanted from u is just a lil care n concern..
appreciate me a bit more.....
please..
jamming at Friday, May 23, 2008
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008
d
we were just an arm length distance, but our eyes did not meet..
gonna use songs to explain it all..
thx BPF.. =)
abstain from r/s?
HAHAHAHA
=)
-better in time- it's gonna hurt when it heals too..
jamming at Wednesday, May 21, 2008
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
d
"i can give up the world becos of u. in the end i cant get u n evetually i lost the world .."
Albert K. Brown
I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you
And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for
Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?
Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me? (Could you be?)
Could you be the one I need?
I'm looking for someone to share my pain (Uh)
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with trough the night
Someone who I can trust who's hardest right
And I'm looking for someone
And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Want to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for
Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?
Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be this one I need?
Take for grant
How much I care (How much I care)
And appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of thought to share
Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?
Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?
jamming at Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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Sunday, May 18, 2008
d
been thinking n thinkin n thinking..
my brain, just like a player;rewind n forward n rewind n forward some issues
i've been thinking so much, too hard n having headache..
if only i could stop this.......
slap myself hard on my face !
__ is damn right abt me..
i've thought of the 'alternatives' but didnt carry out.
that's true..
im trying to be like a leader in World War who's an idealist..
but who m i to have imitated his style?
Me, just a nobody n of no value to whoever is making use of..
the pressure n tension made me suffocated.
absolute frankness knocked some sense into me.
but any idea how hard i must muster up my courage to face this?
im stupid.
once bitten, twice shy.
bitten not just once.. doesnt mean i dun learn my lesson..
can i quit this game ?
adrenaline just keep gushing in any way it likes in my body..
causing heart to ache occasionally, headache, nauseous n sometimes almost forgot to breathe..
corny? how can one forget to breathe? it's a voluntary respiratory but when one get so drained, nth can be 100% sure.
'wad does not kill me, makes me stronger. how sure? ' saw this somewhere..
true enough.
nth kills me. im still kicking n alive. but im aint any stronger.
it just takes time to heal. however b4 getting heal thoroughly, im hurted n affected badly again.
i just wish that God can hear me pray..
sunday 2.27am now.. pretty late .. hope i can slp .. gd nite ppl..
jamming at Sunday, May 18, 2008
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
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unable to breathe n think aft receiving someone's call..
i was really worried.. cos i felt that __ might shoulder everything alone.. despite might cry or upset or wadever.. __ just wont choose to say out.. somehow i knew something was rather amiss upon the unexpected call..
i dun even think that the guy takes u as fren anymore.. i'm really disappointed for wad i saw in front of my laptop.. the impact is so strong that it almost pushed me to stop breathing n heart stop beating..
know nuts abt the fact? wad u have to do is to SHUT THE FUCK UP !
dun bombard anyone with nonsense as it's totally unfair !
im really flustered out now.. now.. seriously..
i gt tons to tell __ .. but afraid that i will burden on ..
emotional wreckage.. me n __ are undergoing now..
no matter how strong the person appears to be.. he/she can be so weak that he/she can just shattered in anytime.. my heart is really aching like hell.. aching on ___ behalf, aching for wadever reasons.. i understand the word 'ANXIETY' .. im in a state that's more than anxiety..
i feel like rushing down the __ place.. cant take it anymore.. but i dunno the situation for __ ..
torment.. why must we go thru such thing.. thought "rainbow" for us.. at least that's wad i thought.. i just wish that God can see us thru.. as i have no strength to carry on like tis..
my feeling now? useless .. naive.. dumb..
if i can fall into comatose n really 'rest well' ...................
jamming at Saturday, May 17, 2008
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008
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13 may, tue..
felt kinda bad towards lena.. shouldnt have taken the seat beside her..
i have my unusual way of saying hi to ppl.. so i hit on sab's arm lightly to say hi..
so i bet sj saw n said wth was i doing.. LOL.. well thx for always taking the initiative to icebreak.. =)
ehh that ms joanne chua.. dunno how to comment on her can.. wad i was being kidnapped n nobody wan.. walao.. idiot can.. haha.. lame !
aft lec me n sj bickering over my bag ! funny right.. i let her win la.. just let her win.. hahaha.. =X
____
teacher: Lena
student: ME !!
why is the above status for?
haha..
CALCULUS !!
she taught me thru calculus today..
aft much teaching, we treated ourselves with sakae n arcade ! hahaha..
i went to her hse to do calculus tut..
loads of works r piling higher n higher..
getting tired alr..
i still believe in my own principle..
deep down in my heart i always take u as ___ fren..
i dun wan give any status cos i noe u dun like it too..
perhaps there is really no 'best fren forever'..
but i still believe if there is forever, best fren will still remain in this world.. =)
____
random qns:
has anyone wonder why one has been working so hard for?
wad is ur view in biz world?
is it possible to be urself ?
haha random qns prompt to u guys.. i've gtg.. slp.. gd nitess.. =)
jamming at Tuesday, May 13, 2008
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
d
Happy Mother's Day !
no doubt it should be a joyous occasion to reward hardworking mums by treating them to a feast or buy them gifts or wadever that pls them.
however, i wondered if my grandma was happy while having dinner just now..
handful of ppl not attending.. guessed that's why she's kinda upset..
tis time round, my uncles were really not organized..
hopefully my grandma is feeling ok now.. =)
tumultuous torrent of thoughts invading into my mind without any hesitation..
late grandfather.. that's wad i had been thinking of..
i didnt noe i missed him so much..
that's y i always avoid recalling back..
grandfather used to talk to me alot.. cos i always visit grandparents on weekly basis..
that time uncles gt them domestic helper.. but grandfather was really unhappy with the maid.. so i listened to his grumbling..=)
i always listened attentively.. sometimes reluctantly..i noe im damn bastard ok..
i always wanna gt him something.. food or his fav sweets..
ya damn to my idiotic thinking 'ya next wk i can gt for him. next wk. next wk...'
'next wk' nv come again for grandfather..procrastinate somemore n im damn fuckin' regretted now..
i pray..
___
flu flu flu.. down with flu.. who the hell has been cursing me.. sigh..
feeling lethargic.. getting myself vit. C sooooon..
hey i wanna go explore some clubs.. JK intro me 'play'.. anyone? LOL..
plenty of things wanna state down but once again due to my short term memory , that's all for today..
gd nite ppl.. =)
jamming at Sunday, May 11, 2008
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Saturday, May 10, 2008
d
shunned me. the feeling i was having that time was exactly like how an impecunious child desperately grabbing money from the affluent ppl, desperately seeking for an answer.
having a lucid talk will be much better than taking the easy way out by shunning.
i can be callous in way of talking but im definitely an affable person.
smack down all the rooms for deluding, for it will just encourage more ppl being dilapidated.
discontinue all the dissonance pls. the art of 'elucidation' will be deeply appreciated.
im not a total obsequious person. reasonable one, yes i will listen.
___
legs aching.body aching.but none can compare to heart aching.
sch works n some issues that deluged into my life, disrupting it.
i always have the tendency to abscond from reality.
but i will still face the music ultimately.
___
hoping to dissect my brain to unload million n million of thoughts which r way too heavy to be even stored up there.
___
racing against wind was such a challenge, but i just ran aimlessly to numb myself with fatigue. =)
i pray.. gd nite ppl..
jamming at Saturday, May 10, 2008
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Friday, May 9, 2008
d
chatted till 2am with _______ despite having lesson at 11am, thurs..
thx la .. held him up for chat due to my random qns..
we were both ended up yawning in class..
but appreciated it man.. =)
challenge for fri ..
5km run with my crazy fren (weini) again..
gosh.. like to push myself further.. but.. Mm.. shall try it out b4 saying no.. =)
impossible is nothing - adidas
i love the phrase !
___
thx for taking the 1st step..
kinda relieved..
____
1am, fri.. still didnt wan to slp.. chatting with irfaan is damn fun ! he lives up to his name, fun ! haha !! his chinese is gd lo.. better than mine.. LOL !!
he noe wad is fu yan, wei he..
he asked me to talk to him in mandarin n he talks to me in malay..
learning attitude of his is really there.. *thumbs up*
wooow it's getting late.. i better slp now.. regain energy for my run.. whoohoo !!
gd nite ppl.. take care.. pray to God.. =)
jamming at Friday, May 09, 2008
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Monday, May 5, 2008
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ups n downs in life.. but im fortunate to have frens who stand by me always..
THANK YOU !
pohyee - im really touched by wad u said to me.. like seriously.. =)
kejia - my dear thx for ur concern on msn.. u too cheer up ! =)
huiyi - thx for ur sms =)
lifen - at least i noe u noticed me.. haha.. =)
sabirah - my lovely one.. always tolerate my craps n spend time listening to my stories ! =)
-i just thx u guys.. i dunno who else i have missed out.. sincerely thx -
=) =) =) smile to prevent wrinkles.. =D =D =D
i gonna love myself more from now onwards.. treat myself better..
jamming at Monday, May 05, 2008
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Friday, May 2, 2008
d
this is life.. this is reality..
wounded deeply.. felt as if a damn sharp knife had just stabbed straight into my heart.. helpless as i couldnt defend myself from the stab.. sinking into an ordeal of mental anguish again.. this time round was due to proj.. if im interested to see troubled or emo expressions, i can simply just pick up a mirror n look at it..
tear ducts had been active huh.. tears just rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably in front of my frens..
i dun prefer ppl to be pretentious.. im perfectly alright if u r honest with me.. dun beat ard the bush n in the end still trying so hard to get into everyone's gd book.. i felt disgusted each time i had to unravel the truth by myself.. fuckin' irritating..
nv doubt/underestimate one's competency n intelligence level.. seriously..
gonna make myself a proof..
why ?
-top student for bio-chem(Full marks)/chinese(97/100)/lit/pure geog/FNN/combined humanities before in sec sch..
-12points for O level..
-distinction student in CRM module..
(well well enough..dun wanna say all my results.. just a lil bit will do.. im not showing off or wad.. just dislike the fact that i was somehow being labelled as "DUMB ASS" .. it can be very provocative to show such thing but.. who cares?! )
going home with heavy load on my shoulders n heart..
emotion was kinda repaired by someone's call..
unexpected call..
shijin called..
well.. guessed she knew wad had happened..
she's my pillar of support..
imagine wad i had gone thru the fri morning till now..
just as i was feeling down n she called made me glad.. =)
just enjoy the way she talk to me.. really like to have conversation with her..im really touched by her action.. she just made my day.. =)
i cant simply use words to describe my feeling for her.. cos that instant thought n emotion r inexplicable feeling..
many thanks to these ppl as well..
-sabirah [sms me n asked if im ok.. yup im fine with u ard.. thx for telling me =) ]
-soek hiang [gave me tissue =) ]
-yiling [hear me out.. r u shocked ? haha pls dun alright.. ]
-jazzlin [listen n comfort me by acc me to dinner ]
-shijin [last but not least.. thx ]
-wad does not kill me, makes me stronger-
jamming at Friday, May 02, 2008
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