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Thursday, April 9, 2009
d
while thinking of what to text u, some other stuff disrupted the train of thoughts.
i was envious of others, seriously.
the other time u asked me to see the whole picture rather than just part of it.
i just gt the hint from the things u wrote uh..
it seems like when others text u, u will reply..
and conversations going on..
but for me..?
i have gotta think hard and at times no conversations between us.
i feel that if no much conversations going on or meeting up will fade off the friendship.
erm, i think so?
i asked myself, what can i do for u as a close friend..
and seriously i feel that there is something 'wrong' between us..
the initial feeling lost.. and u felt that way too..
but.. why arent we doing anything to make a change?
im glad that u gonna celebrate my bday.
i just wish that i dun read too much into everything..
i always afraid that i will say the wrong things and ruin ur mood.
i noe u have other friends and ur life too..
but since u claimed that im ur close friend, obviously i hope that i can gain back initial feel and be the wall that support u. but u always say u are fine.. Mmm... i guess i noe u well but..
Arghh... nvm.. shall stop thinking abt it..
Thanks for celebrating with me ! =)
(more updates next wk!)
i guess im gonna have hell time on sat.
my friends wont spare me from all the nonsense !
good luck to me.
HA..
wish myself Happy 21st Birthday in advance ! WHOO !
=D
jamming at Thursday, April 09, 2009
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c
Sunday, April 5, 2009
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didnt slp much aft clubbing cos my hp has been giving me prob..
disturbed me from sleeping.
i was afraid of losing the messages inside..
i lost them once.. that's why was afraid.
the messages are to support me and keep me strong..
B.. i noe close friends dun need to chat everytime.
why i said defeat the purpose is becos we are close friends and if u dun wanna talk to me then how am i suppose to talk to u abt my prob?
sigh..
u are afraid that the shoulder is being shared.. same here..
i dunno how u feel after reading my offline message to u.
seriously, being close friends is just in name or..?
do u noe when u knocked on my door again and concerned abt me, im melted?
everyday im hoping to receive some messages to keep me going and keep me strong.
it's like a glimpse of light directing me.. and making my day.
what i thought is something simple but perhaps to u, it seemed to be a task.
just want to let u noe.. i nv wanna leave.. u cannot doubt this.
i believe u will noe who treat u gd. =)
-----
Was dancing with yo but ky signalled yo that she's not gd enough to dance with me.
so ky swopped over and we danced..
she's gd dancer eh.. i like the way she groove along with music.
and all the grinding and blahhhh !
hahaha !
someone told me, dance floor can make one forget troubles, but temporary only.
Mmm true enough..
while dancing, i noticed ky was being 'bullied'
i pulled her away from that guy..
sigh.. she left without saying much.
damn shag.. but i gonna fill my stomach now !
-dude, i noe what type i prefer eh-
jamming at Sunday, April 05, 2009
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c
Saturday, April 4, 2009
d
gonna club today.
BORING !
my bday is coming soon.
i wish for my wishes to come true.
HAH..
but aint happy that it is coming soon cos some idiots have ruined my mood alr.
havent planned for my bday and dun really have the urge to celebrate it...
F up la..
sigh..
b4 i went to slp ytd, steff was on my mind..
no doubts many ppl would say she's not as gd as what we perceived of her..
but.. well if i have got what steff possesses now, i might become like her too.
and i love her favourite phrase - ' Dont pretend you know my story. '
it fits well in my situation right now.
i wish to tell the bunch of idiots..
Dont pretend you know my story.
cos you guys noe nuts abt my rs, my life, my doings, my thinking, my emo-ness and etc...
so shut the F up..
dun ever try to blabber nonsense and think this is going to aid u in getting closer to my heart or stepping into my world..
i didnt say i wanna be someone else.. i just wish that i could possess what steff has right now.
but perhaps, this might turn me into another person.
alright im not thinking straight again..
to =)
sometimes it gt me thinking..
whether u still rem what u wrote in the email..
aint sure whether im over sensitive or what but sigh everything seems messed up again..
we are not behaving the way we behaved that time..
i dislike the mixed feelings that always cause a stir..
i can only control.
control the number of times missing and thinking of u.
control the number of times messaging u.
control the number of times 'reprimanding' u. (maybe u will think that im scolding u at times but im not)
control myself from popping those questions again.
control and control... i suppressed it so hard that i breakdown often.
weakling, i noe.
but im still learning....
i dun wanna compare but im sure my feelings towards u will not lose out to anyone out there who fancies u.
-will u take my number..? hahahah! -
jamming at Saturday, April 04, 2009
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