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Thursday, September 10, 2009
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been 3months since the last update.
my blog seemed to be collecting dust and webs.
and perhaps, nobody visit this blog anymore.
but couldnt care less.
there are loads of things on my mind.
seriously needa unload.
my friends have been telling me to wait for the right one.
yupp i did.
and im always the one ended up getting hurt.
i like u.. and i told u b4.. u are someone that i dun wanna let go so easily.
but i gt this sentence in return..
"wo men zhuo peng you hui bi jiao hao ba"
it means that "it's better for us to be friends"
the way u behaved towards me really made me speechless at the end of the day.
we have been texting/calling daily, meet up almost everyday..
shared everything under the sun.. amazed by the telepathy and chemistry between us..
we gt many things in common.. the common things made us closer and the diff things challenged us to overcome them.. we listened to songs and sang it tgt ..
u are the only one who noe what im referring to when i do the hand signs..
Lin You Jia's mtv - Bo le.
u came by this song, Ke bu ke yi ai wo (can u love me)..
u asked me to listen and feel that im like the lead in the mtv..
when i asked u ke bu ke yi ai wo..
u asked me to make chanwanmushi for u first..
but right now WE ARE DRIFTING APART !
in case u didnt realise that... u cared so much abt the gap between u and ur ex..
what abt me?
when i asked u what do u take me for..
ur ans: a friend. the end.
then i wanna noe..
why u held hand?
why u leaned on my chest?
why u rested ur head on my shoulder and put ur arm ard mine?
why u texted and called me that frequently? and tell me so much abt ur personal stuff?
why u get so close in terms of physical?
why u ask who im out with?
why u took my pics secretly?
why u asked or said sucha thingy like "what if u have to wait for 1yr and nth happen...." , " if i dun have hao gan (gd feelings) for u, u wont be here. " , "i dun wanna lead u on but i noe im selfish to keep u by my side..." BLAHHHHH...
we had fights. twice i supposed.
these 2 fights caused sucha drift between us.
fuck it.
im not perfect.. who is?
i might not be ur ideal partner..
but look at the things i have done for u..
look at the gd intentions.
recently we are being sarcastic and insensitive towards each other.
less than 5msgs a day. no call at all. no outing for the whole wk.
i cant believe this is happening when all the gd memories just came on my mind, vying to get me reminisce them..
i cant put them down !
and right now, on msn u said i seemed unhappy.. and yes im really unhappy.. u said u wont asked cos if i wanna tell u, i will...
thats past ! do u noe?
i will only do that in the past... when i was upset/happy i would have told u..
but not now anymore ! cos i dunno what to say though at times i feel like texting u randomly.. but i noe im just nth more than a friend ! u asked me to act normal... how to? i will have to think twice b4 texting u... sometimes i hesitate.. and in the end i chose not to text u..
in short, im in no position.. sometimes i feel like telling u... lets not contact each other.. but i cant bear to do so.. im in agony.. i pretend to be happy.. i pretend that i can be ur BFF and everything's mighty fine.
im just a friend...
u said u overused this word friend.
u apologised umpteen times.
but i dun want ur sorrys.
maybe im thinking too much, im sooooo one sided.
u nv really liked me for the least bit.
perhaps all along im just a companion to u.
im so not gonna get into a rs anymore.
hahahaha some of my friends asked me be player.
then wont get hurt.
basketball player uh?? LOL !
i told myself to improve.. and yes i gonna fulfil certain tasks that i have for myself.
i appreciate u much.
what abt u?
dun act like u care.
it hurts.
-anyways i dunno who will read this but yupp ... aint feeling any better but sorta casting all these for the time being-
jamming at Thursday, September 10, 2009
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